peaceful chaos

maybe I’m starting to share some more insight into the details of myself by exposing the fact that I was raised during the ‘rise of social media’.

my mum did always tell me to put my damn phone away but it wasn’t the phone you are thinking of, if you’ve already made an assumption.

my phone was nothing like the ones which the kids are now scrolling through tiktok on. it was a flip phone. and yes I truly and utterly pride myself on that fact. so before you assume I am a peak adolescent character and even picture me an active twitter (now x) fiend you should know some things:

• I know what bbm is
• I probably still type faster using the t9 texting style
• no, i didn’t grow up with any kind of feed

so now we got that out the way let’s dive in…

social media is a dual edged sword and anyone who has ever used it will know. whether linkedin is your favourite social stalking tool or you prefer drowning in some occasional brainrot on tiktok, the term can be applied to so many types of online spaces. to try and list them would be futile and to try and summarise each one would be mildly insane, so i’ll stick with what i know.

let’s take instagram for example…now believe it or not..I remember when instagram came out and the type of content that was being shared. images and edits of tumblr girls were everywhere and videos were a rarity and body positivity was unheard of (skinny or nothing).

nowadays, even if I wanted to escape the countless videos that get sent my way thanks to the algorithm (which I’ll get onto in a second) it proves difficult because, content is everywhere and ads are everywhere else.

our attention span as a whole has completely shifted from longer form content, like magazines, books and newspapers to short form dopamine hits like scrolling through a feed. even long form apps are typically less popular by thousands because simply, people’s attention is always on their phone.

don’t get me wrong, your experience with social media can be tailored and tweaked (to a degree) to show content you like and want to see. I recently found myself editing my algorithm on instagram to show less ‘dark humour’ and more ‘poetry’ and my feed now inspires me more than it ever used to. but still, this fact of algorithm still stands at the forefront of my mind.

the fact of the matter is everything on social media is being tracked now, from the length of time you look at a photo, what content took your attention and what emotion of content you are liking. it basically knows how you are feeling and what you engage with even if you don’t hit the like or repost button.

when you aren’t engaging in an app the AB testing is always taking place. if the app feels like you aren’t engaging it will literally try to send you a notification one time, see how you react and another time to see if you react any better. constantly testing where it can grab your attention and for how long.

aside from the algorithm and the technology and programming behind keeping you interested, what we also find is a psychological aspect. put simply every brain no matter if it’s neurotypical or neurodivergent feels the quick dopamine hit. you never know what your feed is next going to show you so the curiosity and anticipation of refreshing your feed is the same sensation as a slot machine and just as if not more addictive because what are you risking? the only thing you are giving and that the social platforms want, and it’s something you can’t get back…your time.

aside from this there are various aspects like misinformation, boycotting and general hate that still circulates the web and we’d be stupid to think there wouldn’t be something like that in such a powerful tool. you can’t control anything to enough of a degree to get away from the negativity, I mean I’ve seen announcements of celebrities or influencers on babies or marriage and if you scroll in the comment section you will eventually find someone who knows nothing about them or doesn’t know their story complaining about some part of the post…anonymity gives people protection they shouldn’t necessarily have but hey, maybe it’s the circle of life?

I mean like I said with my experience of the early apps. body positivity wasn’t the thing, it was skinny or unworthy of attention. mental health posts included nothing but statements of feeling unworthy and unloved. generally most of what I saw was either friends’ selfies with one of the preset instagram filters or tumblr reposts that still haunt me to this day. but that was then…

now? I see insane creativity and content I can only imagine took time to shoot, edit and cultivate to hit all the right marks of inspiring me. I see content that I relate to and really builds on the exact thing I wish more people knew. they aren’t alone.

another way we don’t feel so alone? it connects us, I mean how else would I know what A was doing all the way in my hometown when we don’t have the time or energy to speak on a regular basis if she didn’t post about a new favourite cafe or perfect view? don’t get me wrong we can find ourselves comparing our lives (maybe more so if we feel like we have to prove) to others but if we look at it purely from enjoyment or a want to connect that can be minimised (or so i think)?

generally, my view of social media changes on the daily and I’d be lying if I said I thought it was only good or only bad any day of the week. I have found myself inspired and loving social media for the content it shows me and sometimes hating it for how disconnected I feel even though I am definitely connected online, so where is the middle ground?

never. and I mean NEVER feel bad for doing what feels right for you. you owe no one a life update or a story post, you don’t need to capture every moment with friends to post and don’t need to keep your phone away if you do.

it purely depends on what is right for you. just listen to yourself, not what you think others want or should see, post or don’t only if you want to. no one expects you to, no one will miss you if you don’t (or maybe they will if you are super popular or famous).

like i said earlier, a dual edged sword. it is always going to be sharp on both ends, but the most important part? it’s how you wield it, it’s what you use it for and ultimately, if you’re not careful, either side can cut you light or deep.